Exceptionally Uncaught

For lunch today we went to Debacle. Mostly because I got us 25% off thanks to the Entertainment Book (which I'm sure I could link to, but I'm too lazy/busy). I needed to grab some cash, so I went to the ATM at Debacle.

The machine was displaying a helpful message about how it was unfortunately out of paper, so it wouldn't be able to give me a receipt. "Fine" I thought, since I had a pretty good idea about the amount of money I had anyway. So I swiped my card and entered my pin.

"Just so you know" said the machine, "and in case you missed it before, I've actually run out of paper. So I can give you a receipt. Is that okay? Do you want to keep going?".
"Yes, I noticed that before" said I, "and it's not what I'm here for, so I'm happy to keep going".
"Okay!" said the machine. "What would you like to do? Get a Balance?".
"Um, sorry? I was after some money..."
"Your options are: Get a Balance"
"Okay..." so I canceled the transaction and started again, assuming the machine had gotten itself confused.
"Just so you know" started the machine "and in case you missed it before, I've actually run out of paper..."
"Yes yes, I know you're out of paper, and I'm cool with that."
"Okay! What would you like to do? Get a Balance?".
"No, I want some cash!"
"I can give you a Balance!"
"Fine then, " said I "maybe that will give me what I want"
"I'm out of paper, so I can only write a balance to the screen! Is that okay?"
"Aggggghhh!" *cancel**cancel**cancel*
"Just so you know, and in case you missed it before..."
"Yes I know!"
"Okay! What would you like to..."
"A Withdrawal! I want a Withdrawal!" *stabbing madly at the button*
"I can give you a Balance!"
"AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So then I went around to the petrol station, where the ATM was a lot less talkative, and could have given me a receipt if I wanted one.